Thursday, September 13, 2012

Alone in a roomful of people

The last week or so has been a little bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I’ve been introspective lately, and that’s usually not a good thing for me. It has a way of deepening whatever depression or anxiety I might be feeling at the time, but it also tends to produce some interesting insights into the human condition.


Sometimes I’ll send these insights out into the the twitterverse. Sometimes these tent to resonate with people. When it does, it has a way of making me smile. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Maybe it’s just nice to know that I’m not the only human on this little rock who feels this way. Misery loves company I guess, but it makes me feel a little better to know that I’m not alone.


It does confuse me how there can be so many people on the planet and so many of us have absolutely nobody to keep up company. I can sit in a coffee shop for hours and speak to nobody except the guy who takes my order.


Before recorded history, when we were tribal bands roaming the plains, we stayed together for safety. Our need to communicate with other humans was served by the very fact that our small tribes were always together. Now we put ourselves in little boxes and never talk to each other. This is better somehow. Personally, I kind of miss the plains.


I desperately want something to happen. Anything. I would make something happen, but I don’t know how or what. Sometimes I can’t stand sitting in my little box any longer, so I get out and go somewhere. Today it was a coffee shop. I sit here reading and writing for hours, hoping someone, anyone, will want to connect with me in some small way, but that’s not how we work anymore. I’m an introvert, and this condemns me to solitude.

Maybe tomorrow will be different.

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