Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What I wanted to say…

What I wanted to say:

You suddenly decided (on no less than Christmas Eve) that you can no longer keep my son’s dog, and that unless I immediately take him you’re going to put him in a (non-no kill) shelter. I not only offered to drive out to your house to get him but did, where you refused to answer the door. I gave you the option of leaving him at my parent’s house, but you ignored all of that and informed me that you were leaving him in a house that neither of us have any legal right to enter anymore due to your refusal to pay the mortgage and the house being repossessed, forcing me into a situation whereupon I must commit criminal trespass in order to prevent my son’s dog from starving to death even though I warned you beforehand not to do that. My only resolution possible was to call the local police and report the situation to them, whereupon they allowed me to retrieve my son’s dog. On Christmas Eve.

Explain to me again how I’m the one being unreasonable here.

What I actually said:



You can’t argue with batshit crazy.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Gun Control

I’ve been very disappointed in Americans and in particular my friends recently. In response to the recent tragedy everybody is spouting the same old tired clich├ęs. 

  • “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”
  • “Cars kill people too, but we don’t ban cars”
  • “This violence is because we took God out of schools”

The stupid, it burns.

Guns kill people. Period. Yes, a human has to pull the trigger and point it, but the gun is what kills them. This argument is bullshit.

Yes, cars kill people too, but there is a significant difference here: cars are a tool designed to transport people from one place to another. They are not designed to kill people, and only do so when used incorrectly. Guns are a tool designed with one purpose and one purpose only in mind: to kill people. That is what they were made to do. The killer in Connecticut killed 26 people using a tool EXACTLY AS IT WAS DESIGNED TO BE USED.

I can give you a valid reason I need a car: to get somewhere. I can give you valid reason I need hammer: to build something. I cannot give you a single valid reason for needing to own an assault rifle. It is not legal, nor do I have any need of murdering large numbers of people. That is what assault rifles are for, killing large numbers of people. It has no other use.

And taking God out of schools is also bullshit. Nobody took God out of schools. Nobody is preventing children from praying to whatever God they believe in, they’ve only removed people’s ability to force children to pray to a particular God. That’s all. If your children were forced to pray to Allah in the morning at school and study the accomplishments of Mohammed, the outcry would be enormous. Yet these people see no hypocrisy in forcing Muslim children to pray to the Christian god.

Furthermore, implying that your god allowed children to be murdered out of spite due to the enforcement of the freedom of religion clause in the constitution should be offensive to all Christians. This is making the claim that your god is an asshole. I’m astounded that no Christians are offended by this implication.

Friday, December 14, 2012

On The Murder of 26 Teachers and Children in Connecticut

My son, who attends an elementary school, is a little freaked out by the fact that someone would go to an elementary school and gun down little children.

I’m freaked out too.

I don’t understand this. This is quite possibly the single most horrific thing I can imagine a single person doing. His only connection to the school was that his mother was a teacher there. I come from a family of teachers. My mother is a teacher. I’m an empathetic person, but I still cannot fathom someone who could do this. My empathies go to the children who at ages 5 to 10 had to fear for their lives, and many lost them.

What happened today is a wound on our collective psyche, more deadly and more horrific than Columbine. And already the pundits are turning today’s events political. I’m disgusted by this.

Today is not the day to cry out for gun control, although I have strong feelings on that issue. Today is not the day to talk about God in schools, although I have strong feelings about that as well. Today is not the day to make your political argument on the backs of 20 murdered children. Keep it to yourself today. We can talk about these issues another day, but today, go to your children and hug them. Appreciate that you have them, and that they’re ok. I just did.