Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fast is good, Loud is good, Fast and Loud is better

News you might actually want to know!  I've decided I have to get an XM satellite receiver for my car.  The rental car I'm driving has XM installed (obviously in an attempt to entice customers like me into buying their own.. good job guys) and as I'm surfing through a few hundred channels of crap (oddly like cable TV) I stumbled across a gem.

Are you ready?

No, you're not.  Take a deep breath and prepare yourself.  I'll wait.


Now?  ok... let me know.



Ok?  good.  Here it is.

XM Radio has an all day 24 hour AC/DC station!

Uh huh... oh yeah... uh uh... oh yeah...

I've heard that it takes an outsider to truly appreciate the beauty of a location, and given that I can't find much to say for Kansas, I think that might be true.  Rhode Island, for all it's itty bitty size, is beautiful country. 

But you haven't lived until you've driven a little tiny compact car down a New England highway at 80mph weaving in and out of traffic playing AC/DC's "Big Balls" as loud as those tiny little speakers can go.  Those poor Rhode Island drivers were probably thinking "That bunghole drives like those morons in Kansas!  What the hell is he thinking?"  Maybe I should have gotten the insurance after all...

Oh, I can't wait to get the 'Stang back and put an XM receiver in it.  Good Times! 


  1. People from RI/New England don't say 'bungholes'. They say "o my gawd, what a wicked jerk" or "fucking moron"... not that I'm calling you one, but as someone who hates driving in RI... it sounds like you blended in fine (as long as you didn't accidently use your turn signal). Also, people from New England in general wouldn't know how a Kansas person drives. A person with a Kansas plate would probably get the following,

    "What the hell is this dick's problem? Far away from your corn field or whatever? All driving like Toto shit... go back to your no place like home and get a house dropped on ya, ya fuckin retard."

    "Fuckin a. Hope he gets his ass blown up in a tornado or some shit."

    This would be said mostly by people driving as bad as you. Welcome to New England.

    ...but I seem to remember the rental plate was RI, so you probably fit in better than you know. :) They probably mistook you for home grown, therefore giving normal comments like

    "What a douche!"
    "Yah, right? Fucking a!".

    Great job at fitting in. :) Come back soon.

  2. @Celes
    "People from RI/New England don't say 'bungholes'. They say "o my gawd, what a wicked jerk" or "fucking moron"... "
    People from Kansas don't (normally) say it either. It was a half-hearted attempt at censoring myself which didn't last long (obviously). We probably wouldn't say "wicked jerk" either, but "fucking moron" gets a lot of use.

    I did notice that New England traffic wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I guess it's not so different after all. Except Iowa. Traffic fucking blows in Iowa. There's a reason I try to get through Iowa as fast as possible....

  3. Um, you didn't drive in or around Boston at all. You were in Warwick, RI. Traffic of New England isn't judged by small outlying regions. The whole of your MA driving experience was my little rural southern area. Don't be fooled or you will have a rude awakening if you ever come back to see more of MA.

  4. I've driven through L.A. during rush hour. Bring it.