Monday, April 27, 2009

Attention XBox: F*ck you!!!

Today is the day Microsoft kicked me in the balls. It was inevitable. I’ve built a career around working with Microsoft technologies. I’ve bought thousands of dollars of their software. I’ve paid an outrageous amount of money for their XBox. I’ve bought their arcade games. etc etc. For fuck’s sake I’m writing this goddamned post using Windows Live Writer on my new Vista OS.

Recently My XBox fried, all of one month out of warranty. I let that slide. I sent it in and got it fixed for the measly cost of $99. I let that slide. I recently noticed, however, that the arcade games which previously worked for everybody with a profile on my XBox (e.g. the rest of my family) no longer allow them to play the full version of the games.

That’s right, the games which I paid money for and have legally can now only be played on my profile.

That’s new.

So I, being the dumbfuck Microsoft groupie that I am, innocently assume this is some glitch, probably a result of Microsoft’s hard-on for DRM. I figure if I e-mail support and explain it, they’ll fix it. Right? Today I got this in reply:

Hello X,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft online support for XBOX. I am Y and I will be helping you today with this issue.

We have received your email and as I understand that your other account are unable to play your Xbox Live Arcade Games on Xbox Live. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience you have felt regarding this unfortunate matter.

With regards to this, X, you may only use the downloaded arcade games if you use only the account in which you've downloaded. Also, some items that you have stored on your Xbox 360 console cannot be transferred from one profile to another profile.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

If you need to reply to this e-mail, please reply 'with history' (include any previous e-mail) or reference to Service Request Number N so we can expedite our service to you.

You may also contact Xbox Customer Service for US and Canada by calling 1-800-469-9269 at your earliest convenience, and we'll be happy to help you. We are open everyday from 9:00 A.M. to 1:00 A.M. Eastern Time and 6:00 A.M. to 10:00 P.M. Pacific Time

For international customers, please contact Xbox Customer Service in your local region. (To find the correct Customer Service number for your region first use this link to select the appropriate country and then use the contact number found under the support menu). You may also choose to call international assistance (direct dial to the US) by dialing 425-635-7180.

Thank you for visiting If you should have future questions on Xbox products or services, please be sure to revisit our Web site as we are continually adding information to enhance our service.

Best Regards,


Microsoft XBOX Support Services

Yep, a fucking form letter. That’s verbatim, with the names changed to protect the (somewhat) innocent. In case you got lost in all of that, it basically says “Fuck you. We’re Microsoft and we can fuck you if we want to and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it, dipshit!” Either that or “I hate my fucking job and didn’t really read your e-mail and hit the ‘Send the Fuck-You-form-letter’ button without thinking”.

Personally, I’m surprised. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I had actually bought into all of Microsoft’s bullshit, just to find out that I’ve been a fucking idiot. With a blog. So now I’m supposed to buy the same game four times? Fuck that!

I replied back and carefully explained the situation. Something that used to work on my console now does not. I don’t expect to get anything different, but after all of the money I’ve invested in my XBox, I figured I should try at least one more time before I chuck the piece of shit out the window and go buy a Playstation.

Companies usually only get to fuck me over once. I will never again have a Verizon account, even if they do have the cooler phones. I don’t care. I will never again buy Quicken or TurboTax. You only get to fuck me once, guys. I’m not that kind of girl.

This is a little different. My entire career is intertwined with Microsoft, so I can’t just simply say “Fuck off” and buy a Mac. I actually even wanted to work for Microsoft prior to today. I’ve even talked to the Channel 9 guys about a job opening before. We’ll see where this goes, but I can say I don’t have to buy anything that isn’t a development tool or an OS in the future. If Microsoft continually treats their end users this way, Steve Jobs has got nothing to worry about (unless Apple fucks their customers too, which I wouldn’t know. I don’t buy much Apple stuff).

Oh, and one more thing guys, every so often one of the customers you piss off will have a blog. Someday you might piss off somebody with a blog that actually has readers. Be careful…


  1. (reposting because Blogger chucked a spak).

    You should tweet this -- the airlines are taking a beating, why shouldn't Microsoft?

    And speaking as an (almost) 10 year veteran under Our Lord and Master Jobs the Magnificence, Apple customer support is generally pretty good. Third-party suppliers can be crap though, but that's par for the wossname.

    (and it's Lisa4.8 btw :D)

  2. How are you? It's been a while.

    It's not hard to provide better support than a form letter. I recently had an issue with the Zune too, and the experience was much the same. I hate to bitch too much, because they fixed both the XBox and the Zune, but damn! it shouldn't be that hard. With Zune's latest software update, I'm this close from buying my first iPhone.