Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stranger in a Strange Land

The voting on my last post was a bit sparse, but the one vote I did get was to not delete this blog.  Alrighty then.  (Thanks, Celes). 

This post runs the risk of being one of those sad, depressed entries I so despise.  I'm in my second week in Minnesota, and I'm starting to wonder if this is all worth it.  It's true that earlier tonight I attended my first XNA user's group meeting ever (KC doesn't have one that I'm aware of), and sat next to one of the most well known people in the history of software development.  In fact, I was supposed to talk to him afterwards, but I bolted because I didn't want to miss the nightly phone call I have with my kids.  I haven't seen them in nearly two weeks. 

In short, this place is starting to wear on me. 

I've never been a consultant before.  It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, but the lifestyle seems a bit lonely.  Especially when you come home to an empty apartment.  You get switched around to different projects alot.  So far I've been on two different projects in my two weeks there.  Tomorrow I go to interview for my third.  This is the part of consulting I didn't expect.  You have to actually go interview for each gig.  It's like constantly applying for a job.  And if you don't get it, you're not making your employers any money.  When you become overhead, you run the risk of unemployment.  E.g. you had probably better get that gig. 

I find interviewing depressing.  It's probably why I stayed at my last job for two years, and the one before that for five.  I made lots of friends at both places, and I miss all of them.  Most of all I miss my family, especially my kids, and yes, my wife too.  I'm feeling a little bit socially deprived.

I had cable and Internet hooked up two days ago.  So far only Internet works.  That wouldn't be such a big deal if I could figure out how to stream Dr. Who.  I need my Doctor Who.  BSG is on hiatus, and one can only watch The Matrix so many times.  Wow, yet again Neo is the "One".  Shocker.  I can watch streaming news, but my laptop is pathetically old, and the video is choppy and difficult to watch.  Forget about full screen viewing.  It just ain't happening. 

I do have my XBox.  That helps, but I've only got so many games, and they get old too.  I left my violin in Kansas City, because I thought I'd be traveling right off the bat. 

Add to all this the stress of realizing that I probably can't sell my house, and I'll have to give up on this whole endeavor and move back to KC, and I'm feeling just a little down at the moment. 

A thought occurred to me the other day.  Some of you may remember  I don't know who did this, but he was a freaking genius.  Basically he put up a web site where he threatened to kill a cute bunny unless people sent him money.  He made a killing.  Finally some company came in and bought him out to put a stop to it.  Who knows if he really would have killed the bunny.  It doesn't matter.  He made the money. 

I need money. 

I can make websites.

When you put those two facts together, it's almost like there's some kind of idea just out of reach that might save me from my impending financial ruin. 

Anyway, I wanted my legions of loyal fans to know that I hadn't forgotten about them, and I'll continue to blog here in the near future.  Expect some boring technical content as I try to establish myself as an expert in compooters along with the self aggrandizing political and general rants you've come to know and love me for.  Tootles.


  1. It's so comfortable to know that some things... stay... maybe that's in the nature of stayingness: there should be time and place with all their happenings that cross with you for long enough to make you feel ok and regret losing them... it's just you can't always know what and where/when they are or may be... some ppl are comfortable with constant changes in their lives... staying with them:)
    what i want to say is count 1 more voice for letting this blog live, and i hope it can be more technical - then i can assure myself of time well spent;) and i hope you can find time for music in your life:)

    PS when a child i spent a lot of time away from my farther he was a very busy man - used to save ppl's lives - and there was no Internet and even phone calls were usually impossible so we wrote letters long ones with pictures:) on plane paper and that was fun:) and you know those memories stay with me even when it seems like the whole world crumbles and changes like hell... that is...

    good luck:)

  2. Yeah. Wow.

    I know I wouldn't be able to deal with constantly interviewing.

    Besides that, though, some of this stuff is just temporary or getting used to etc.

    It might be hard to sell the house, but things like that have a way of figuring out. Never is a really long time, so you'll sell it eventually. 100% of people like living in shelter. Many of those would probably like to live in your house if the price was affordable.

    But the bigger question is, once all of this 'used to ness' and transition settles, are you going to be happy with where you are and what you're doing?

    This is one of those in between places where it's too soon to tell because the in between place, the transition, is the hardest part. Once that's over, you can think with a clear mind if this is where you want to be. Once you're there, you can figure out if you need to move in a new direction.

    Two weeks can seem like a long time, but really, it's a drop in the bucket. Hang in there and keep an open mind.

    It takes a certain type of person to take the risk of putting themselves out there in a job like this. Staying at a job for five years is safe. Most people would not be able to take the leap, try this out. It's a risk. You should be proud of yourself for giving it a genuine go. :)